On a journey towards self improvement

theyellowbrickroad:

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

(via ali-paoli)

sonnet20:

akamxru:

just heard voltron is finally ending december of this year so we’re going into 2019 not having to hear bout that shit anymore

Yeah it took me forever to start watching because of the garbage I kept seeing about it on Tumblr

(via ali-paoli)

just-shower-thoughts:

Taking turns to roll the dice is the same as one person rolling it, it’s just the illusion that you have some control over the odds.

kikuwang:

my younger cousin’s favorite quote is “mamma mia that is a spicy meatball” and he says it all the time and earlier we went outside to play basketball and he tripped and fell over the uneven concrete and i was about to say are you ok when i heard “mamma mia that is a spicy sidewalk”

(via thebootydiaries)